Monday, June 25, 2018
Anxiety? Depression?
We found out this weekend that one of my husband's cousins went through a dark period a few years ago. Her mom described it to me and it sounds so much like what we have here. It was caused by a chemical imbalance in her brain that is managed through medication. Now she is married, working, raising 3 daughters and going back to school. She was willing to see a doctor, though. My son considers it an insult that we even question the way he is living. Does everyone need to hit rock bottom before they get help? Do we have to actually kick him out and have him living on the street for a while? I don't want to. Does that make me an enabler? He lives with us and yet I feel like I haven't seen my son, other than glimpses here and there, for year.
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This is scary. I don't have an answer, but I do think that someone who reaches adult age needs to man up and contribute at the very least. And if s/he can't, that needs to be addressed somehow.
ReplyDeleteMy brother is a (now recovering) alcoholic. My parents did cut him off and did not speak to him for 3 years in his mid-20s. I kept contact but provided no physical/tangible support. He came back to us and it's been 14 years since he got sober and has put his life together by fighting every damned day to be a good father, husband, teacher, person. He has been diagnosed bipolar, like my mother, and is well medicated and in general, happy.
ReplyDeleteMy uncle Richard was likely bipolar or depressed along with many of my family and also self-medicated. People would help him for awhile and then give up, exhausted. He blew through family and friends and two wives along the way and now he's 68 years old and lives in the basement of the house my grandmother once owned and now my aunt cannot manage to sell for a variety of reasons (first and foremost: two brothers living in it). Some people come back. Some don't. And I don't have any advice or thoughts about how to know what will be true or how to take that risk.
I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Your last sentence is heart-breaking. Hope you find a path through this minefield.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, this is so tough.
ReplyDeleteI've recently just learned of a diagnosis (anosognosia) that means the person afflicted with mental illness or deterioration is completely unaware of said illness/deterioration. (In our case, it's my MIL.) I wonder if there is help and advice somewhere for the family of people dealing with this? Because I think it is just as hard for the caregivers. You need support. And you need an outlet.
Oh fuck this shit to hell. I am sorry. This has to be so painful for you. I wish I could help.
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