Saturday, August 11, 2018

Sonnet #11

Same challenge, different entry

I wanted to write one, 'cuz Suze is a friend
and I sure hate to see that girl pout
plus the whiney-assed emials would just never end
but I can't get a damned sonnet out!
Would it have killed her to ask for haiku
or a limerick set in Nanatucket?
But noooooo- she wants sonnets, so what can I do?
I'm tempted to tell her to forget it.
I tried to release my lax poet-within
with a sip of some nice Triple-sec
and when that ran out I tried bourbon, then gin
and whatever came next, I forget.

You thought there was something sublime in me, right?
Well, no sonnet's forthcoming, dear Suze, not tonight.


Food Post #11

Greenland Shark

Many centuries ago, an Icelandic fisherman reeled in a Greenland shark, and fed it to a local Viking. The viking died, and here's why: the Greenland shark has limited kidney function, so rather than filtering out the day-to-day impurities in their system through those handy little organs, the shark just stores the poison in it's flesh. The viking ingested the poison and dropped dead.

Any other nation would decided to lay off the Greenland shark as a food item (these people are surrounded by the bounty of the sea - eat a cod, FFS), but not the Icelanders. Through trial and error, and likely a lot of dead vikings, they stumbled upon the perfect method for preparing the flesh of the Greenland shark so it won't kill you.

Allow me to now share that process with you, in case you should catch a greenland shark some day.

1. Cut it into manageable sized blocks.
2. Bury it in the ground in winter and let it rot there for a few months.
3. Hang it to dry in a shed for a few more months. 

You will find the milky white colour of the now-cured flesh to be quite pleasing, as is the texture. The taste is reminiscent of something rotten you found at the back of the fridge after you've been away for a month and the power went out, that you then soaked in ammonia for a week.

But it won't kill you.


  1. OK, you're killing me with the great poetry. And I'm glad now to know how to eat Greenland shark safely. It sounds positively delicious!

  2. I love your poem.
    And a good thing I didn't try Greenland shark. Either pre-poison-removal or post.

  3. Wow, I wonder how many Icelanders gave their lives to perfect that food preparation technique?

    You're so sonnet savvy!

  4. Yes, I still think there's something sublime in you. Something large.

    And . . . "eat a cod, FFS" LOL


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